Motherhood

I still can't believe I am mom to this beautiful gift from God! Tenley Marie joined us on October 18th, 2011. I have grown so much since she has been in my arms and my life has surly changed! Motherhood for me consist of:

No sleep
House is not organized
You take fast showers
You eat your meals fast
Sometimes you wonder if you even ate a meal
You learn to get ready in under 10 minutes
You may walk out the front door not realizing you still have your slippers on
Your life is suddenly all one day
You have no idea what day it is
Laundry,laundry and more laundry
Spit up is your new fregerance
Leaving the house takes an hour
As a stay at home mommy, I have a new respect for working mothers! They must have some hidden power!
You have a new respect for your own mom
It's hard to talk on the phone with your dear friends
It may take you all day to do one task or chore
Going to the grocery store by yourself is a reward!
You forget everything
You keep checking in the backseat to make sure you grabbed the baby
You cry at anything
You learn to set out more than one outfit day for you AND the baby
When your husband leaves for work you look at the clock and start counting the hours until he will be home again
Seeing your husband hold his baby girl makes you fall in love with him all over again
You miss your baby even when they are just sleeping
You still can't believe you have a baby
You have this overwhelming power to try and protect your child for everything
You wonder what you did before you had a baby
You thank God everyday for this amazing gift

There is so much more that comes with being a mom but I wouldn't change it for anything! We are so blessed with this little girl!

missing Haiti

It's almost been 3 years.

I remember...the sounds of the city, the smell, the long nights of people chanting and screaming into microphones for hours of the night. I remember my first night there as I laid on a thin mattress on a marble floor with the outside around me. I remember looking at the ceiling and seeing all the lizards come alive and crawl all around. I remember being humbled at that very moment. I didn't have my big bed, I didn't have my fan or big body pillow next to me. I didn't have an inclosed area around me to not worry about the outside world coming into my space. I was truly humbled. I never want to forget.

Going to Port Au Prince, Haiti I thought I was going to teach these little children something. Instead, they taught me, they taught me a lot. The week that I was there I learned what it meant to do God's work. What it meant to be humbled. What it meant to be blessed and what it meant to be happy. I met the happiest children in Haiti. I saw God in Haiti. I found myself in Haiti. I found a since of understanding in Haiti. Haiti did not need me, I needed Haiti. I needed this experiment to grow me. To grow my walk with Christ. I am so thankful for the experience I had there at House Of Hope. Thankful for that puzzle piece in my life. I yearn to go back to Port Au Prince. My heart desires to do more work there. Maybe not in the same place but for sure Haiti. One day I hope we meet again.

Refreshed & loved.

March and August are marked in my heart. It's August again, and I can't help to think we would be planning your first birthday party. I try not to let my thoughts wonder too much on "what would had been" but it seems to seep into my heart a little. I focus my attention at this moment on the Miracle God has given us growing within me, 30 weeks pregnant with a precious baby GIRL!
The past month or two I have struggled with fear, panic attacks and lots of anxiety. I never had any of those feelings before until our Journey began last year with our sweet Baby Trotter. They are awful feelings that come when you least expect and feeling like you have no control is the worst. At first I was not sure where the root of the fear was coming from, but now I know. The fear of something going wrong, again. The panic of the unknown of how this process of "child birthing" is going to occur, afraid I will not have enough strength. Anxiety of being a mom, a Godly mom.  I have been praying for all of these sinful feelings to disappear and a lot of them did last night, God spoke through my husband. A moment last night I will cherish forever.
I was so grateful to be able to sit outside on cool night with Adam and talk about GOD! Talk about our beliefs, our journey that we are oh so thankful for, talk about what God is doing within us and how we want to continue to grow closer to him as a couple and how we will show HIS love to Tenley. Talked about planting God's seed in our friends and family and how we continue to do so. I needed this time and deep conversation with my best friend and leader in my family. So blessed to have this time to invest in one another with out the craziness of the world. I feel refreshed. Thank you hubby for your encouragement, support and words. I love you dearly and so excited for this chapter in our lives. I am blessed by our love.

"Then Jesus told them, 'You are going to have the light just a little longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going." 
-John 12:35

I find my hope and strength in our savior. We are all looking for something to cling onto, we are all looking to find our identity. The way we act and our character is the reflection and overflow of our hearts. I pray people will always see God flowing through my heart. This is not my story that he just happens to be apart of, this is God's story he is writing through me. A story I don't deserve. BUT this is a story I will treasure!

2 Sweet, Beautiful Years!

It's crazy to think just two years ago (May 30th, 2009) I married the most caring, loving, good looking, HOT, funny, and an amazing man of God! As I woke up this morning I began to think of how the past two years of marriage has shaped us both, and it's amazing to me how much we have both grown together and to God in such, what seems like, a short period of time. We are so blessed with this life journey we are on together and it warms my heart that he is forever mine during this walk.

As I look around the house it is bitter sweet to know this house that is filled with so many memories will no longer be our home soon. In about 11 days we will be packing up and moving to a new state, new town, new church, new friends, new family, and a new house. Looking back when Adam and I were dating we would talk about living in Saint Louis and raising a family here and going to our parent's house for sunday dinners, but God has shaped our hearts and has lead us to different places and desires for our family, which is ok. I am very excited for this next chapter in our lives and knowing no matter where God leads us, our house and our family will always be built on God's love! In HIM we trust!

The past TWO years we have made such a beautiful family that I cherish so deeply. Adam and I have our sweet Baby Trotter who is with our heavenly father, we have sweet Baby Girl, Tenley, who is due the beginning of October and of course we have our spoiled and cute King Charles Spaniel, Prince.
Marriage is such a BEAUTIFUL thing and I know we will continue to be on this journey for GOD together and I pray I will always be a Godly women for Adam and continue to encourage him and love him for many, many years to come! THANK YOU sweet husband for 2 Sweet, Beautiful YEARS! You are the LOVE of my Life!

"Forever can never be long enough for me

To feel like I've had long enough with you

Forget the world now, we won't let them see

But there is one thing left to do

Marry me TODAY and EVERYDAY"

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."Eph 5:31-33

Mother's Day

I woke up this morning having a heavy heart. I thought about my life a year ago on Mothers day... I remember it was a really tough day after losing our sweet baby 2 months before. I remember my family took a trip and I was unable to see my mom that day, I believe I laid in bed all day. It was just the beginning of God working in my life and making me the women I am today and yearn to be. Now a year later, I can see who I was and who I am today and I owe to our savior for seeing me through all my pain and long road of medical treatments. Today I am almost 18 weeks pregnant with a sweet gift from God that was so unexpected but so cherished. Today my heart is heavy for children who have lost their moms, for moms who have also lost their children in some point in life, and for friends who have tried and tried to become moms. My heart aches for all of them.  My dear friends, you hold a special place in my heart, you might not know it but you have taught me so much. I see God working in your lives and it brings me much Joy when I see HIM shine through you. HIS plan is perfect, we might not agree with his timeline but we have to trust. I know HE is going to do great things!

I love you MOM! Thanks for always letting me know you are here for me for all trails of life, thanks for being the wind beneath my wings!

"We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise"

Blessings - Laura Story